


POI James Bond Crossover Fusion

by whomii2



Series: POI alternate universe [14]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, Crossover, Gen, Ten in Ten Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:58:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whomii2/pseuds/whomii2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  The name is Reese, John Reese</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Series of one-shots. Reese=007. Finch = "H" the Quartermaster of Q-branch

On the surface they seemed an unlikely duo, complete opposites similar only in the fact that they had become somewhat legendary in MI6

 

00 Reese was a notorious BAMF. He could do more damage with a spork than most agents could with a submachine gun.

To add to his notoriety there were whispers of his tragic past--how he had lost the only woman he truly loved. The woman he had considered resigning from MI6 for. Rumors on how she met her death varied wildly: drowning, shot to death at their wedding, suffocated by too much body paint…

 

The man known to most of MI6 as “H” was the defacto head of Q branch. 

There had been concerns about the elderly Q and his body's ability to hold up under the strenuous demands of running Q-branch. But Q had dedicated his life to the service, and everyone knew if forced to retire he would surely fade away from a broken heart. Fortunately that did not become necessary with the hiring of “Harold Finch.” Finch had unparalleled expertise in both computer programming and in the R&D areas. He quickly distinguished himself from his coworkers and swiftly moved up the ranks, becoming second in command of Q-branch. Most expected him to take over the role of Q, but he subtly but firmly made it clear that he was not interested in the position of head of the division. So Q remained, signing the paperwork that had been delegated to the less productive minions and attending the staff meetings that were more about political maneuvering than productivity. He would poke around the R&D division, raising morale with his exclamations of delight over the latest gadgets. Meanwhile Finch used his sharp mind and sharper tongue to whip Q-branch into a smoothly running and highly efficient department. It was a good arrangement for the friendly Q and the more private and intense H.


	2. Chapter 2

“Our latest target could present some difficulties” muttered M. “He has considerable resources and is one of the richest men in the world.”

Click clack clackety clack click BOOP! “Not anymore” Harold said smugly.

“You’re taking all the challenge out of this” 00 Reese complained.


	3. Chapter 3

H hated when Reese’s missions sent him to locations where surveillance devices and high tech were sparse. Not only because Reese took great glee in going off grid during slow periods in a sort of international hide-and-seek, but also for those occasions where he was injured or captured and H would be frantically trying to determine his condition with minimal resources to call on.

So when H learned the details of Reese’s latest mission he put his new plan in motion. He was innocently typing away at his computer and nibbling on a muffin when Reese stopped by to get his equipment for the mission. He studiously ignored Reese while he continued his coding, and as expected Reese got bored and filched a muffin from his box. Finishing his typing with a flourish, he took out Reese’s supplies and began to go over their uses. He hid his triumphant glee as Reese sauntered off with his equipment, still innocently munching away on the stolen muffin.

Even if the radiofrequency device disguised as a chocolate chip became inoperable, the radioactive dust (tested for safety on a few unsuspecting minions) in the muffin would ensure that Harold could at least pinpoint Reese’s location via satellite.


	4. Chapter 4

After settling in as de facto head of Q-branch and whipping his minions into shape, H began to exert his influence on other areas of MI6. One innovation was the implementation of additional reports to be filled in when expensive Q-branch items were lost or damaged during missions. These report requests went to those agents who had been more creative in their initial after action reports about the alleged circumstances surrounding loss or breakage of said items. The additional paperwork would either encourage the agents to be more careful, or to become even better liars.

Never ones to respect authority and showing more guts than brains, the 00 agents boycotted the new forms. They soon learned there was a special circle of hell reserved for those who messed up H’s paperwork: namely, a 5-hour Saturday computer literacy class aimed at improving their office skills (as clearly they were too bogged down during normal work hours to accommodate such a class). They didn’t even have the benefit if thinking H’s weekend was also being ruined, as H clearly enjoyed his duties as “teacher.” 

Some of the lessons they learned were:

1\. The relative benefits of pivot tables vs. pie charts  
2\. The history and characteristics of every font known to man  
3\. Why excessive use of UPPERCASE was EXCEEDINGLY RUDE  
4\. H was an evil, sadistic bastard

When H earnestly promised additional classes if necessary to assist the agents in their office performance, the agents took it as the threat it was and there was a dramatic increase in paperwork filed. M was delighted and gave H approval for expanding the in-house training as necessary.


	5. Chapter 5

00 Reese made his way through the labyrinth of Q branch, looking forward to his post-mission ritual of teasing his Quartermaster. 

Said Quartermaster was in his office, typing at a rapid pace while staring intently at one of his many screens. He appeared oblivious to Reese’s presence. Reese knew this was an act--if “H” could track his movements in even the most desolate foreign location then he most certainly had surveillance on John as he approached his own domain.

Reese placed his tea offering on H’s desk. H looked at it dubiously, as if John had given him cup of hemlock and quirked an eyebrow at Reese as if to say well get on with it.

Reese then slid his earpiece and his gun onto H’s desk. H still looked unimpressed. Reese finally placed what was left of the pieces of the other equipment he still had with a flourish. H sighed a put upon sigh and began gathering up the sorry remains of his brilliant tech. Proof that once again the destructive force that was Reese had been superior to his engineering skills.


	6. Falling out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 00 Reese manages to tick off his Quartermaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did this as part of the 10 in 10 challenge by Astolat

“H” had been giving 00 Reese the cold shoulder for the past few days after Reese had inadvertently ruined his latest gadget. H turned a deaf ear to all Reese’s excuses, saying that the instructions he had given were quite simple and clear. 

Although H was always polite and never raised his voice during their work interactions, Reese could tell he was angry and no longer engaged in their usual friendly banter when John was in the office. Reese would have to admit to himself he missed that camaraderie. He liked H, who was the only geek in Q-branch with any dress sense (in fact, H might be the best dressed person in all of MI6, Reese included). Reese had enjoyed the occasions where their chats had turned to fashion, and the relative merits of classic vs more modern tuxedos. On one memorable occasion H had actually made some emergency alterations to Reese's attire, proving as adept at tailoring as he was with high tech equipment.

Reese wanted a return to normal, but so far all of his peace offerings of tea and doughnuts hadn’t done much to thaw H’s chilly disposition. 

Finally, it seemed there might be a lessoning in H's disapproval when H summoned Reese to his office and handed him a piece of tech. Reese took the small device from the angry genius gingerly, wondering what it would do. Before H could give Reese any instructions he was distracted by a beeping sound on his laptop, and turned away to start typing out commands. R fidgeted in place, knowing better than to leave the office with the tech before H dismissed him. He began looking over the device, noticing a small red button on the back. He pushed the button, wondering what would happen when POOF the small device exploded, covering R with a fine layer of pastel glitter. H commented without taking his eyes from his screen “perhaps this will teach you to be more careful with your equipment”. Reese slunk off to the nearest washroom to clean up, sure that H would have at least ensured that his suit would survive unharmed. He glared at the residents of Q branch who were unsuccessfully hiding their snickers, and was sure that video of the incident would be circulating the building shortly. 

On the bright side, having extracted his revenge, H was now likely to forgive Reese and would probably even gift him with some exciting new tech in honor of their reconciliation. But even if he never received another exploding pen, John was happy just to have his friend back.


End file.
